Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Wandering the Forests of October

Before I begin speaking personally for already the second or third time in this blogs' very brief history, I want to thank every member of the Nation for being a part of this. Everyday our numbers grow I feel honored and humbled that I get to speak to so many of you. You're all amazing people.

October was meant to be a really powerful and positive month. As I sit here, we are midway through, and zero of the goals I had set out for this time have been accomplished, and, in fact, I've encountered huge personal roadblocks that have shook the foundation of my life outside of coverkillernation to its core, which have demanded handling. By now, I wanted to have Studio 3.0 up and running, I wanted to have the new apartment completely unpacked, and wanted to be bringing you all videos from the new place, both official and just for fun. Well, all of you deserve an explanation.

1. CKN, why are videos coming from Studio 1.0 and not Studio 3.0? Did you actually move? 
I did, back on the 5th of October. The studio hasn't been set up yet. In fact, the studio has become a catch-all point for things that still need unpacking. Work schedules have been the unpacking process very slow. Physical exhaustion would be enough of a reason, but there's a lot more to it than that.

2. CKN, you're not posting as much, both on youtube and on facebook, why? 
This is where things get complicated. A week ago, the answer would be simple, but since then, its become really convoluted and personal. The short answer is that we transferred the internet service, with a Tuesday, October 9th start date in mind. When the day came, the internet never connected. There are huge issues with the provider in the building we moved to, and every other tenant I've spoken to has stated that they have had to move to cable internet, as opposed to Verizon. The issue is twofold: The building was formerly a school building, but was converted into apartments back in the 1980s. The wiring, however, is still badly outdated. Potential reason #1 for the internet not working is this old wiring. High-speed internet demands updated modem wiring, which is present in a lot of homes because people choose to update when they desire to, but a building upgrade is still in the works. The apartment has underwent changes in property ownership, and are tackling the cosmetic changes first. Wiring isn't on that list, though it's badly needed. Potential reason #2 is a faulty box, but this is hard to support, because the box worked flawlessly in Studio 2.0, only about two streets away, and survived the move without a scratch on it. At this point, I'm just thankful to have a place to record and communicate minorly.

3. OK, CKN, that explains youtube, but facebook? 
This is where things get personal. I've recently been dragged into the personal business of a former friend of mine and her (potential ex) boyfriend. Their personal business has been spilled outside of the privacy of their own lives and into the public lives of facebook and other social media outlets. Its caused a tremendous amount of personal turmoil, and, at least on a personal level, has left me in a terrible place of mind. In short, I was stabbed in the back by somebody whom I thought I could call a best friend, and the residual effects attempted to ruin the life I have with my relationship, and tarnish many friendships that I previously had, as well as attempt to severely damage my reputation. I would take to the air and record a video laced with anger, disgust, rage, and destructive feeling, but that's not why Coverkillernation exists, at least not in the personal forum.

As many of you know, I'm someone who possesses thick skin, but even that thickness has been pierced in this situation. As many of you also know, this hasn't exactly been the greatest of years for me outside of the channel. Besides my relationship and the channel, the man that CKN is outside of youtube has taken a number of punches to the gut, which have tested the merits of my recovery ever since my life nearly ended in 2008 by my own accidental hand. This year has tested that meddle, and its not been an easy journey.

Patience is a virtue, Nation. One that I sadly sometimes lack when I am faced with turmoil. I ask for patience when mine is being tested, which sounds totally unfair, but its all I can do. Issues have to be dealt with one at a time, and in such cases, in private, as they should be. We WILL have a great month, Nation. Maybe it'll take longer to see a video from studio 3.0 then imagined, but that doesn't mean the videos end. I gotta talk to you all about these albums, and I will.

Forever grateful isn't strong enough for my true feeling toward you all. Thanks, as always, for being members of the Nation, and for being the best fanbase on the planet, no, in the universe.

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